The Light of Darkness.

"dark side of the soul"
"in the valley"
"passing through Samaria"
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.."
"going through hell"
"darkness"
"going through changes"

Whenever one goes through this type of experience, the contrast is relative to the individual that is going through it. The spiritual growth that may result from this type of experience is also relative as to transformation, evolution, or understanding one feels they have obtained.

My experience has been that of releasing old beliefs that no longer serve me and coming to the understanding that God is in me. That my Inner Being is love, wise, powerful, and effective. When I am in alignment with my Inner Being there is clarity, vitality, passion, enthusiasm, joy, eagerness, fun, laughter and freedom.

I behold the divinity in me.

This is a new mantra for me. I am accustom to saying Namaskar, I behold the divinity in you. But now, I feel the empowerment to behold the Christ that is in ME. I have the power to create my own reality.

I was feeling disappointed and pissed-off at my-self because I have not manifested the material things that others have. I was judging myself (as were others) that I *should* be doing better than what I am doing because I am smart and spiritual and therefore manifestations should come easy to me.

What I have also come to understand is that my vibrations were contrary to my desires. My desires were contrary to my beliefs. Disconnect. Thus the disconnect in the flow of energy.

The darkness has taught me on a spiritual level just not on the academic level, that wherever I am, God is. I have the Power to see abundance (even when abundance is not apparent). No need to fear the darkness or the unknown because I trust that my Inner Being has already become the vibration of what I desire. My only work is to allow. I can release the control of knowing all details of my future and trust my Inner Being.

I have learned from the teachings of Abraham-Hicks that a key to allowing is self-love. If I truly recognize that God is in me, then I must also recognize on a deeper level that I am love, loved, and loving. I Am one who loves. This includes ME. I am love no matter what.

No matter what appears on the outside, I am love because I love myself. I don't mean superficially but inherently. I was love before I came into this world. Once in physical form in this world and somewhere along the way those outside of me taught me conditional love. Oh, but now I have *become* to the understanding that no one can judge me. For you may not see the physical manifestation of material things, but let me tell you that spiritually I have grown to know that I Am Love, I Am Valuable, and I Am Worthy --- beyond what I say or do or manifest.

I am seeking the kingdom of God inside me and I know and that all else is added unto me.